Late at night, when I am all alone, my world shrinks to what is inside me. It’s a darkness that creeps up and takes me down. I can stall it with distraction but I can only hold it back for so long. And when it’s released it is relentless in its efforts. Every bad thought, every painful emotion, every harsh realization is suddenly stronger and starts to take on a life of its own. And as it grows stronger I get weaker. And I believe everything I hear in my head.
All the bad things about me, all the bad things I think, and all the bad things I do, they are all true. In the darkness the bad things are even worse. And it breaks my heart.
I am nothing. And that breaks my heart too.