Module: Emotion Regulation
Emotion Regulation Handout 8A – Examples of Emotions that Fit the Facts
When checking the facts, it can be hard to determine if what you’re feeling is justified or not. I know for myself, sometimes what I’m feeling is so strong that I think I’m already working the facts. I believe they are justified. So I wonder what do I need to do this step for?
Obviously you need to be honest with yourself when checking the facts because without it you’ll end up in the same spot as you started with nothing to work with to change or resolve the emotion or situation.
I can personally attest to this because at first I wasn’t that honest. Not because I wanted to lie about it but because I felt the fear of people not liking me so far that it was a fact. The truth is though I have no evidence to support this belief. I mean, maybe everyone might not like me, but frankly I don’t really care about everyone. I’m worried enough if the people I like, and my friends like me. I just wanted to believe that the people I liked, and my friends liked me. When I checked the facts, and was honest about it, it turns out I didn’t have much to fear in terms of rejection. My friends, they liked me.
One thing that helped me to determine what the facts were, and if they fit was reading the Emotions Handout 6, their prompting events, and interpretations that made me realize I was feeling a lot of unjustified fear and shame.
Since it would take up a lot to list each of the emotions from Handout 6, their respective prompting events, and interpretations etc., is first of all a copyright issue, but also it’s a lot to paraphrase, and I’m not sure I can do it.
It’s much easier to use examples of emotions that fit the facts, to see if it’s justified or not, and then whether to do Opposite Action, or Problem Solve.
The following are examples of emotions that fit the facts:
There is a threat to you or someone you care about.
There is a threat to your body, health, well-being, or property.
There is a threat to the body, health, well-being, or property of someone you care about.
A goal is being blocked, or prevented from being attained.
Something you enjoy doing, or pursuing is blocked or prevented from being attained.
There is a threat of attack to you or someone you care about.
You or someone you care about is insulted.
You or someone you care about is offended.
Your integrity, status, or well-being is attacked or threatened.
You come into contact with something that can make you sick.
You listen or witness an opinion or behavior that goes against your own moral code.
Someone you dislike speaks to you or touches you.
Someone you dislike speaks or touches someone you care about.
Someone has things or privileges that you want.
Someone or something you care about is being pursued by someone else.
Someone or something you value is in danger of being taken away.
You cherish, adore, or connect significantly to another person, or animal.
You have lost something or someone you care about.
An expectation of a person or situation has fallen short, or has not been met.
You or something about you (personality, behavior, values, opinions, etc.) is rejected, insulted, or offended by another.
You do or say something that goes against your own moral code.
It helps a lot to have these to refer to when figuring out if an emotion fits the fact. A number of times now I’ve referred to these examples and realized I was kind off the mark.
Bye for now!
Skills, Handouts, and Worksheets from DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan.